Hurting People

Author: Savannah D. Miller

If someone asked me if I have ever been bullied, I would say no but after more thought, I would say yes. I  remember a situation where some girls ignored me in our homeschool theater group because I was too happy (?) and loud. I never had any real friends in elementary school. I was only “tolerated”. I did make at least one friend every other semester but that was all.


Bullying is defined as: Bul·ly /ˈbo͝olē/ noun 1.a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.synonyms:persecutor, oppressor, tyrant, tormentor, intimidator. verb 1.use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants: “a local man was bullied into helping them”. Synonyms: persecute, oppress, tyrannize, browbeat, harass.

I never thought the problem was other people, I always thought it was me. I labelled myself as an “outcast”, “annoying” and a “nuisance”. I feel like my situation was a form of bullying, mainly emotional bullying. I suppose… Wait, I have google. Let me look this up. Check it out on It says: “Emotional bullying refers to the cases where a person is made to feel isolated and ridiculed largely through mechanism such as teasing, shouting, mocking and ignoring. This is a case where the bullying does not necessarily have a physical component and for that reason it is sometimes harder to spot or rectify.” Okay, cool. I’m not just making this up.

It takes a while to overcome the effects of bullying. I was also emotionally abused by my dad for a while until he left, so this doesn’t just stem from my school days. I did learn something from him that made me look at people differently and I’m glad my mom pointed it out. Hurting People Hurt People. So true. I was hurting inside and would take it out on my sisters or myself most of the time. My dad was hurting from childhood trauma. Even though that is no excuse for a grown man to act foolish, I’ve realized that attacking him wouldn’t make the situation any better. If someone is hurting you, the only thing to do sometimes is to just show him or her the love that they might not have. You never, ever truly know a person, even someone you live with, so you cannot assume that they are not hurting too. You just need to show them how to be a loving human with your actions.

That does not mean you let them abuse you. If you calmly talk to them and they don’t stop then you need to seek help. Be sure to get video evidence and/or everything in writing if they are hurting you. Do your research (and double-check your info) on who you can talk to and if it gets really bad, you may need to contact the authorities. Always remember that someone loves you, someone cares, you are never alone, and don’t ever give up.

I hope you have an awesome school year filled with growing your mind, body, and maturity.

Photo courtesy of Strawberry Indigo

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