A Utopia in My Heart (Part Three)

Later that night, Alicia sat in her room waiting and thinking, gently stroking her long, braided, black hair. She didn’t know exactly what she was waiting for.

            “God, please send me a sign, so I can discover who I am,” Alicia prayed. Then she sensed that a voice was speaking to her.

            “Alicia, I cannot tell you. You must find out for yourself.”

            “I must find out for myself – that isn’t much help!” she said aloud. Then she had a sudden realization.

            “Do you mean that I am who I think I am?”

            “Yes,” the voice said. “You must have faith within you. That’s why I gave you the precious gift of salvation. Faith makes you who you are.”

Alicia reflected on this for a long time. Maybe I do need more faith, she thought. But it seems that life isn’t so great after all. So what’s the point of life?

Why isn’t life as good as I always believed it to be? I need to know why.

In the morning, Alicia asked Momma the same questions she had asked in the silence of her room during the night.

            “Baby, I want to tell you, but I won’t. It’s for your own good,” Momma told her.

            “That’s not being very nice,” Alicia sulked.

            “Honey, my love for you is different than being nice,” Momma explained to her baby.
            “Yea, I know that you love me. No wonder you want to protect me all the time!”

            Alicia slammed her bedroom door with all her strength in ire and frustration.  She spent the morning daydreaming, wondering what it means to be nice.  Does Momma really love me? I have faith, she told herself. I believe in myself. I must be changing, but that’s okay.  

             She thought about what God would say to her at that moment. “You are the pilot of your own life,” He would tell her. She prayed for more faith.

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3 thoughts on “A Utopia in My Heart (Part Three)”

  1. I just want to tell you that I am just new to blogging and seriously savored you’re blog. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your site . You really come with perfect stories. Thanks a lot for sharing your website page.

  2. Congratualtions to Bayley Paharik for this wonderful story. Each part of the story gets better and better, and I look forward to more. We could all use more faith. I’m rooting for Alicia to find herself.

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